


and it's enough just to make you go crazy

by Nellsie



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 13:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11898909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nellsie/pseuds/Nellsie
Summary: Harper isn't in love. Well, he is, he's just obnoxiously in denial about it.





	and it's enough just to make you go crazy

**Author's Note:**

> you didn't give this any notes on tumblr so it is your civic duty to give it a review on ao3. it's required. i promise you.

1\. everything he does is endearing.

Harper doesn’t think he’s ever really going to fall in love with Brian. It’ll be more of a slow dip into those familiar waters. Love is a term that was very much reserved for Alex―and therefore, a little bit of a bittersweet thing to return to.

So he figures it’ll be a bit like going to the pool when the water is too cool―only the brave and foolish jump straight in, so Harper figures he’ll dip a toe in before slowly submerging himself in the water. Except instead of water it’s romantic commitment and love, or something like that.

Or, maybe he’ll just be grateful that he’s finally back in the dating game and stop coming up with dumb metaphors to explain to himself why he’s so hesitant to use the word “love” in situations where it might be fitting. Whatever, he’s happy with Brian, and as far as he knows, Brian is happy with him. It’s a symbiotic relationship, though Harper supposes all romantic relationships should be.

Harper snaps out of his thoughts when he comes across a post on Dadbook. There’s a picture of Daisy receiving a badge from an older, sinewy girl, supposedly her scout troop leader. In the caption, Brian has written sentence upon sentence about how proud he is of her. A smile crosses Harper’s face as he reads through it.

“What’s got you all happy?” Amanda is standing in front of Harper, and he comes to realize that he’s kind of just been sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone with a dopey expression while an episode of Long Haul Paranormal Ice Road Ghost Truckers played in the background. “You’ve been smiling at your phone for, like, a full minute.”

“Nothing.” Harper presses the power button on the side of his phone, “Daisy got a new Girl Scout badge, and I was reading the post Brian made about it.” Simple question, simple explanation.

“I thought you hated it when Brian bragged about Daisy.” Amanda says, raising an eyebrow, “Something about him being your mortal enemy and a reminder that you aren’t as great a dad, despite the fact that you’re both great dads?”

Harper waves a dismissive hand. “Amanda! That was the me of the past. Now, after our time at the carnival, inevitable team-up for the benefit of our children, and my overwhelming guilt for being a competitive asshole, Brian and I are unlikely friends.” And unlikely people who are dating, but whatever.

“Uh-huh. Well, you have me and Daisy to thank for that.” She says, a sly smile on her face, like she knows something. “And Brian the Goldfish. May he rest in peace.”

“Why did we go through all that trouble for a carnival goldfish, anyway?” Harper asks, “Just so we could be that much more attached when we inevitably flushed him?”

“That, and because we’re ridiculous and over the top.” Amanda shrugs, taking a seat beside Harper. “I’m glad you could get over your petty rivalry, though. And, as an unexpected bonus, you got over your fear of rollercoasters.”

“‘Got over’ is a strong way to put it. I’m still horrified of roller coasters, and now I have that memory to prove to myself that they are just as horrifying as I thought they were.” Just thinking about heights, and dropping down from heights, and dropping down from heights at a fast speed is making him a bit queasy.

“Still, progress.” Amanda says.

Harper rolls his eyes and turns on his phone again, immediately being greeted by another Dadbook post with a picture of Maxwell wearing a trucker hat, and if that wasn’t adorable enough, Harper remembers being in the mall when Brian bought that stupid hat, and he smiles fondly upon thinking about it.

Then he scrolls down and sees another picture from Brian, one where standing by his car, smiling brightly at the camera and celebrating his new  _proud parent of an honors student_  bumper sticker.

Okay, maybe Harper’s just a little bit in love with Brian. Just a touch in love.

* * *

2\. you see him in everything.

Lately, Harper’s been exhibiting worrisome behavior for someone who’s just a little bit in love.

It’s just little things. Recognizing things like “oh, this is Brian’s favorite song!” when a certain Jimmy Buffett song plays over the radio or, “this picture of a dog is so cute! I should send it to Brian!” when faced with… really any picture of any dog. Damien’s Dadbook page is full of pictures of dogs.

It’s starting to get bad when it becomes subconscious, because Harper is sure that he’s never heard what Brian’s usual Coffee Spoon order is, but he definitely knew it when he was standing at the counter, asking for an Iced T with extra sweetener by default.

(“How’d you know I love these?” Brian said when presented with the sweetened ice tea, “You’re so sweet. Kind of like this tea.” At that point he was laughing and Harper was laughing and everything was fine―except that Harper was internally panicking because how  _did_ he know Brian loved those.)

Of course, none of that is a really big deal. Harper is a chronic overreactor and has a tendency to exaggerate problems in order to fit his own narrative, but he’s still kind of panicking because even his friends are starting to pick up on his infatuated behavior.

* * *

He’d been hanging out with Robert and Mary a few weeks ago. The usual stuff, a couple drinks before Harper inevitably went home to cuddle with his pillow and have dreams about his life with far more money and far less back pain.

“I’ll get a whiskey.” Robert said, and Neil turned to Harper.

“Oh. Uh. I’ll just get a beer, thanks.” To be honest, whenever Harper hangs out with Robert and Mary he feels severely outclassed. He’s not exactly a lightweight―ok, that’s a lie, he’s the lightest weight. The last time he got drunk he was found crying about how the Skammunist Manifesto was never as appreciated as it should have been―but Robert and Mary literally bring glasses of whiskey and wine almost everywhere. And they’re also much more attractive and much better friends than Harper could hope to be, and hanging out with them sort of digs up some deeply repressed inferiority issues that Harper struggles with on a daily basis, but whatever. One time he got drunk and explained this to them and they gave him a pat on the shoulder and told him that if they didn’t like him they wouldn’t hang out with him.

“So.” Harper said, swirling the beer in his cup. “You know, I was―”

“Hanging out with Brian?” Robert said, resting his chin in the palm of his hand.

“Uh… yes, actually. How did you know?”

“Wild guess. Also you talk about him a lot.” Robert shrugged, “Not that that’s a bad thing. He is the closest you’ll get to dating Mario Batali, after all―”

“Ok, one, when did I tell you about my celebrity crush on Mario Batali?”

“Same day you told me about your repressed issues with your dad, and your repressed memories of killing a man in cold blood.” Robert waited a few seconds before adding, “Kidding, of course.”

“And two, I don’t talk about Brian a lot. I talk about him a reasonable amount. Because we’re friends.” Harper said.

“Friends who have sex with each other?” Robert raised an eyebrow. “Not to say I’m against that kind of arrangement, though I have to say Brian isn’t exactly the friends with benefits type. I don’t really know him well enough to say that, but you know. I just kinda see it in his face. Kinda like I see the empty eyes of a killer in yours, you know?”

“Every time you  make these jokes about me being a murderer I get more and more convinced that I am, you know that? Anyway,” Harper said, “Okay, so Brian and I are dating, but I’m not always talking about him or anything.”

“Of course not. I’d say Brian takes up a good eighty percent of subjects that you talk about, the other twenty percent being your own emotional issues and talks you’ve had with your daughter about how cool she is.” Robert said, “But it’s fine, no one’s blaming you. You’re practically in love with the guy, so―”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that―” Harper interjected, before Mary walked up from behind them, draping her arms over their shoulders.

“You guys talking about Brian?”

* * *

So, yeah, Harper’s a little on edge about… everything. He still doesn’t think he talks about Brian that much, but sometimes in idle moments he thinks about Brian’s stupid smile and it’s kind of a really nice thought so it is a topic that’s often on the brain.

He considers all of this while walking down the street, and then he sees a colorful Hawaiian shirt in the window of a store that he knows Brian would love, and he doesn’t really think about how he’s doing it again until after he buys the shirt for him.

(For the record, Brian does love the shirt. Harper is fucking reeling at how absolutely transparent he is even to himself, and also at how nice Brian looks in that shirt.)

* * *

3\. you’re in denial about it. sweet, sweet denial.

It’s hard to convince himself he isn’t in love when he looks at Brian.

Because there’s just so many feelings―there’s giddiness and admiration and something very genuine that Harper can’t quite put a finger on―that it’s hard to pinpoint all of them, and he’s not sure love is a part of any of them.

(Because love is complicated and love is weird and love is so far away from him at this point that the idea of being faced with it now is kind of scary.

But it’s hard to deny that looking at Brian now―at his smiling face while he regales Harper with some story about fishing for rainbow trout or some shit―makes Harper feel a certain lightness in his chest.

“What’re you smiling about?” Brian says, “I know I’m not that entertaining.”

“Nothin.” Harper is still smiling dreamily, like he’s in fucking love, but he isn’t. Not yet. “Just listening to you talk.” Listening to him talk and thinking about how cute he is and being just steps away from falling in love with him.

“You’re adorable.” Brian says, and then he continues. And Harper listens, and maybe (just maybe) gets a little more comfortable with the idea of being in love with Brian. “I love you.” Brian says.

Oh, shit.

* * *

4\. you accept it.

Harper doesn’t say I love you to Brian that night―but he does stand on his toes to press a kiss to Brian’s lips when they’re standing by the front door of his house.

Harper doesn’t say I love you to Brian that night―but he giggles like a child when they make their way to Brian’s room. He doesn’t say I love you―but he feels giddy beyond belief when tangled in Brian’s sheets.

Harper doesn’t say I love you to Brian that night―but in the morning, when he’s looking at Brian through sleepy eyes, he has a sort of lopsided smile on his face and this feeling like his heart is caught in his throat.

“Okay, fuck it.” He says, to a Brian who is clearly still unconscious on this fine morning. This’ll be a practice round, he supposes. “I love you.”

* * *

“I love you, too.” Brian says, eyes still closed, and Harper realizes with little uncertainty that he professed his aggressively denied feelings to a Brian who was _pretending_ to be asleep, and he’s not sure if the red on his face is from embarrassment or frustration.

“Aw, babe. ‘S nothing to be embarrassed about. I love you, too.” Brian says, and Harper squints.

“I said it first.” He says.

“Actually, I said it first. About a day before you did, so.” Brian stretches and yawns. “But nice try.” He grins, playfully.

“Goddamit. Okay. You win this time, _I guess._ ” Harper rolls his eyes, “But listen, I think we can both agree that I―” Harper loses track of what he was arguing about when he catches sight of Brian and his stupid, soft, adorable face. “Oh, fuck it. I love you.”

They kiss and normally Harper would have a billion gripes about their morning breath, but this is a nice moment and he doesn’t wanna ruin it.

Okay. He’s in love with Brian. And that’s fine, and good, and fun, and Harper doesn’t exactly know what that means for them or the future, but he’s willing to find out. 


End file.
